Clifton's Cafe - Fitzroy North

Happy holidays loyal readers!

In the traditional wash-up of this festive period which inevitably culminates with an array of intoxicated "ooh"s and "ahh"s at an exorbitant - albeit impressive - pyrotechnics display, we often burst forth into the new year with those same old resolutions: to shake off those extra holiday kilos; to try new things; and...some third thing. Well, it is currently December 30th 2013 and I decided I couldn't wait an extra two days! No, I don't care for shaking off any more kilos - as a vegetarian, my aspirations in that department go more in the opposite direction. However, I have ventured into some fairly uncharted territory (the "new things" resolution). Yep, I have beaten seemingly all but Rod Quantock to reviewing a cafe! Now I know how guys like Christopher Columbus, Sir Edmund Hilary, and Neil Armstrong must have felt.

But enough about me, 'where/what is Clifton's Cafe?' I hear you ask. Firstly, as there is a little confusion on google searches, it is located at 310 Queens Pde, Fitzroy North, not in downtown Los Angeles. This isn't your big-noting trendy eatery, but nor is it a drab diner. It is very much in pace with the smart eateries and shops that litter this strip. Whilst the bain-marie lasagnas and and hot dishes up the back didn't look overly inspiring, the heavily Lebanese influenced salads, slices and pastries were certainly enough to catch my attention. 

Spinach and Pinenut Omelette. A mouthful!

Food here is not for those with eyes bigger than their stomachs. I was particularly taken with a large rectangular slice that dominated the salad bar. It appeared reminiscent of the spinach slices my Nonna used to regularly make. As it turned out, this was a spinach and pinenut omelette. As avid readers will already be aware, I am not particularly enamoured of eggs or omelettes, so perhaps this was not the ideal meal selection for myself, but it certainly had its own distinctive taste. The addition of some Middle Eastern spices gave it a richer, earthy flavour. My massive omelette/slice came with three salads and the obligatory dollop of hummus - the hummus was a definite necessity, as I feel the omelette would have been a bit dry without it. I only wish I had been giving a little more.

Probably my main interest here was in the lebanese salads. The pick of the bunch for me was the bulgur salad, mixed with tomato, spring onion and parsley. Light, tasty, perfect summer lunch food. For the other two sides, I opted for the rice, lentil and onion pilaf, and the arabic salad - red cabbage, tomato, cucumber, parsley and spring onion. The latter reminded me very much of my time in the Mid-East. The pilaf was probably a little hefty given the enormous amount of food on the plate, but simple and tasty none-the-less. There was also a a green cabbage salad/slaw with a more tangy taste, and a chickpea salad which I did not get to try on this occasion. I feel on my next visit, I'd go for a plate of just the salads to keep it a bit lighter. Don't get me wrong, I certainly got through all of the food - and a large portion of my companion's! - however, I did struggle to pull myself out of the chair a little afterwards.

A very unassuming little eatery, but the friendly staff and fresh salads and pastries make it one definitely worth stopping in at.

3.5/5

Foxtrot Charlie - Brunswick

Breakfast: my least-favoured meal of the day. All too often I avoid eating until after 11am purely so I can call the bowl of soggy cereal in - what is certainly by this stage - tepid milk "brunch". Deep down in my heart I know what this bowl before me really is - a bowl of disintegrating dreams - but somehow it becomes more palatable with a different title. (A rose by any other name indeed!)

Apologies for appearing to get so morbid, I should confess that I rarely actually eat cereal, but I DO vastly prefer brunch to breakfast. Don't get me wrong, I love the crunch of my vegemite on sourdough toast in the morning, but whenever I go out for breakfast I regularly find the menu options to be particularly uninspiring. Essentially, they seem to be bacon and eggs made fifty different ways, invariably with the veg. twist being that the bacon has been removed from the dish with slightly more egg added. And the vegan option? Don't get me started! Fortunately, there are many breakfast spots that have decided they can't put up with my whinging any longer, and have decided to prove that there can be more to your morning meal than pig and eggs (Exhibit 'A': Grigons & Orr). Many such cafes can be found in the cultural mixing pot that is Brunswick, and one in particular is Foxtrot Charlie on Sydney Road. Boasting the use of organic produce, and a rotating range of interesting deli goodies, there is sure to be something to take your fancy. For instance, the 3 cheese Panini: Meredith Goats Cheese, Schamorza, and assaggio, layered with salad-y goodness. One look at it and it screams out to you! Also, for the uninitiated, schamorza is a personal favourite of mine, and under-utilized far too often in my opinion.

But I came here to go for one of the breakfast specialties, so I opted for the Saint Joseph's Day Fritter

The Fritter!

(Veg. Version - $16.50): a ricotta fritter served with sauteed mushrooms on a pea fondue. There is only one word that for me accurately captures this dish: juicy! This fritter is like a water bomb exploding in your mouth. You know, the kind you used to throw at your friends in those carefree youthful summer days. Or, alternatively, at your best friend's Winter bbq last June - hilarious at the time, but his girlfriend hasn't spoken to you since. Of course, when I say "water bomb", I don't mean to say that it is loaded with liquid. Nope, I'm referring to the taste explosion that goes off the moment you crunch through the crispy fritter exterior. The mushrooms, too, were unbelievable. I'm the first to admit that I am not the biggest fan of mushrooms, but in this dish I did not merely tolerate them, I gobbled them! Juicy, sweet, salty...they were a work in contradictions. The pea fondue was like the calming voice of the dish, keeping all the outrageous flavours in check, binding them.

Pistachio and Yoghurt Mousse Cake

It's not all peaches and cream. Whilst I was served a very elegant looking hot chocolate, it was rather watery. However, there are only a few places in Melbourne where the hot chocolate is the decisive factor in me returning, and - fear not Foxtrotters - this is not one of them. Aside from my incredible breakfast, the other thing that stood out for me about this place was the service. The wait staff genuinely make you feel like they're happy to see you...more so than some of my close friends! As an added bonus, we were treated to a sample of some freshly made pistachio and yoghurt mousse cake, which is certainly worth a try.

There's plenty more on offer here for the meat-a-tarians amongst us and the veg. options are a little limited, but what they do have, they do exceedingly well. Watch out Green Refectory, you've got competition!

5/5 (How could I not, they actually had me enjoying my mushrooms!)

Gazi - Melbourne

I know I know, yet another review about Gazi in Melbourne. Does George Calombaris really need more of a leg-up? Probably not, but his contribution to cuisine in Melbourne should be acknowledged. And no, I'm not referring to Masterchef. Honestly, I could not give two 'you-know-whats' about most reality TV shows, let alone one where all of our natural senses get repeatedly assaulted by Matt Preston's 'look-at-me' cravats. That being said, I suppose any show that re-engages people with food should be commended.

But allow me to backtrack from this tangent and get back on point. My real interest in Gazi comes from my often neglected Greek heritage. I owe much of my culinary education to my Nonna (I know, 'nonna' is Italian. It was a confusing childhood, roll with it) and her three sisters. I have many memories of Greek Easters and family gatherings where unbelievable amounts of home-made Greek fare mounted every surface in the house, none of which you could knock back. Not that you'd want to of course, but have you ever tried to knock back food offered to you by a Greek Grandma? You're taking your life in your hands if you do!

The problem for me with going out for Greek these days is that most restaurants are far less accommodating to my vegetarian needs than my nonna. Fortunately, Gazi has a wide array of meze to cover most dietary preferences. No fuss Athens street food, that's the order of the day. Unlike its predecessor on this location The Press Club, there's a more chilled out vibe at Gazi, a Greek diner motif. There's a stack of backgammon boards near the entrance, presumably free to use for diners. That being said, I'm not sure how keen the wait staff would be on a backgammon tournament starting up during dinner hours. The ceiling is obscured by kitsch hanging terracotta pots, and the kitchen is open plan so that you can see the flair with which your dinner is being whipped up, presumably just like on the streets of Athens.

Oh yeah, that brings me to the food.

DIPS: Served with lightly grilled house-made pita
Zucchini, Feta & Mint - Lumpy and green, almost salsa-like. Offers almost lemony undertones, countered nicely with the sharp taste of the feta. In stark contrast to the smoother consistency of the more yoghurt based dips. My favourite.
Miso Melitzanosalata - An interesting twist on a Greek classic, this version has a creamy texture, the bitterness of the eggplant countered by the saltiness of the miso, and finished with yoghurt and capers for extra tang.
Sweet Potato skordalia, pinenuts, orange - Skordalia: another Greek staple I remember from my childhood. This was the dip I was looking forward to the most. As a result - perhaps unsurprisingly - it was the most underwhelming of the three. That says more about the quality of the other two than it does about this one. I love my garlic, however the strong garlic-y tones I recall from my youth were absent here, a little overpowered by the sweetness of the sweet potato (yep, sweet potatoes are sweet. Must remember that).

ETHNIKA VROMIKA (HELLENIC DIRTY FOOD):
Vegetables - I got the impression from our waiter that the vegetables in this dish are subject to variation. Today it consisted of various coloured heirloom carrots, radish, cucumber and celery, coated with a tomato and oil dressing, all sitting on a bed of tahini and garlic yoghurt. Very simple dish, prepare for things to get messy once the yoghurt and tahini climb all over the veg!
Cheese (Saganaki) - Fried in a generous amount of oil to add extra crunch, the large slab of saganaki oozes richness. A tip, don't do it all by yourself, your body won't thank you! Goes great with some of the lighter salads/dips.

WOOD FIRE GRILL:
Corn - Only a small half-cob, another simple pleasure, but what a pleasure it is! Outrageously coated in various seeds, you could mistake the cobs for bird-feeders. Add to this a generous (and I mean generous!) smattering of the Aleppo pepper mayonnaise to coat the cob and, baby, you just bought yourself a one way ticket to Flavour Town!

SALADS, VEGETABLES, PULSES & GRAINS:
Grean Peas Salad: Neglected from the online menu, this option consisted of peas and crispy fried cauliflower, dressed with a herbed garnish and almond dressing. A much lighter, summery option that complements the Saganaki nicely.
Fasolia: Fresh crunch of green and yellow beans, asparagus, shaved fennel, radish, and hazelnuts on a thick white bean skordalia. The bitterness of the bed of Skordalia is offset by the crispy greens. I was particularly drawn to this dish due to the fasolia I consumed in my youth. Doesn't stack up to my Nonna's version, but nothing ever does. Still worth a try.
Chips: I know what you're thinking. Why go to one of Melbourne's hottest restaurants just to order chips?! Well slow down there Judgy McJudge, let me explain. Much like with Castrol where "oils ain't oils", at Gazi chips ain't chips. The house-cut 'tiganites patates' are crispified (it's a word) in a healthy amount of garlic and olive oil, then crashed together in a bowl with oregano and feta. If you take up a seat near the open kitchen you can watch the magic of it all unfold before you.

To accompany this plethora of food, I elected to go for a fresh juice over the ludicrously priced beer selection. One option stuck out above the rest: cucumber juice. Well, I'd be stupid not to, right? It tasted, well, pretty much how you'd expect I guess; like cucumber flavoured water. However, it was exceedingly refreshing. I can see myself blending many a cucumber to help cool myself down during our coming climate change infused summer days.

As you can see, there are ample veg. options, and there are plenty of others I was simply too stuffed to try, and not outrageously priced either. With all the hype, you expect Gazi to be good. And whilst there were a few underwhelming dishes, it has to be said, it still lives up to the hype!

4/5

Blurry Mezé shot

Ministry of Curry - East Brunswick

Lygon Street, East Brunswick, is fast becoming my favourite food and bar strip in Melbourne. Where once there was just the iconic Gelobar swimming amidst a sea of Indian curry houses, now there are countless wine bars, pizzerias, and other restaurants serving dishes from all corners of the globe...except for maybe Greenland. From Burger houses, to Mid-Eastern cuisine, and an array of Asian restaurants, Lygon Street has a little somethin' somethin' for all and sundry. AND, being in Melbourne's hipster inner North, you can bet your sweet bippy there'll be veg. options wherever you choose to chow down.

Ministry of Curry is one of the relative newcomers to the strip. I know I know, another curry restaurant in East Brunswick? I can hear John McEnroe's catch-cry "you cannot be serious!" ringing in my ears. But this place differentiates itself in that it is the only restaurant around these parts to serve up traditional Sri Lankan cuisine. Well, that was enough to prompt this curious cat to investigate.

First of all, I should say that there is quite a bit of range on the menu, so naturally I didn't even come close to getting an adequate sample size, but let's just work off what I did try. There is only one vegetarian option amongst the entrees - lentil croquettes (5pcs - $10.90) - so naturally these seemed like the logical way to begin. The croquettes are nice and crispy on the outside, with a lightly spiced, floury lentil and potato filling, drizzled with a mild, tangy dipping sauce.

For the mains, a couple of curries to share were the order of the day. On recommendation from the rather shy waitress, we went with the green bean curry($8.50) - served with onions and a little chilli, swimming in a lightly spiced coconut sauce - and the parippu (lentil) curry($7.50), with sides of rice and the coconut roti - thinner and firmer than the Indian equivalent. Both curries were fairly mild, but not lacking in taste by any stretch. The prevalence of coconut - milk and shavings - added that tropical fragrance to the dishes, really enlivening the flavours and combining perfectly with the rice, roti and the parippu curry.

I'm a little sick of going out to eat at establishments where blandness in cooking is accepted and celebrated. I want my taste buds to come alive with flavours, not have to conduct some sort of CSI experiment to determine whether any DNA traces of taste exist in my mouth. Thankfully, none of that was necessary at the Ministry.

It's not all flowers and chocolates. The service was a little awkward, and they managed to initially forget our order of rice. But that's just me nit-picking. Ministry of Curry is a place still finding its feet on what is now becoming a very congested restaurant strip, but I really hope they hang in there. I'll be returning, that's for sure.

4/5

Shop Ramen - Collingwood

Shop Ramen - 329 Smith Street, Collingwood - was a place I'd had my eye on for some time. East Asian noodle dishes - as most vegos will attest - are sort of a 'forbidden fruit' in the vegetarian world. Whenever I see someone hoe into a bowl of noodles, my salivary glands immediately kick into action. However, if you believe that most "vegetarian" options on offer at your local noodle house are kosher - so to speak - you are simply kidding yourself. Think about the stock people, think about the stock! At Shop Ramen, the biggest draw card is that the vegetarian option is spruiked as being made from a vegan, cashew nut stock. Boom! There it is, food's 'Berlin Wall' just got torn down!

To say "I went to Shop Ramen BEFORE it was cool" would be inaccurate, as the massive line out the door for a table at 7:30pm attested - not to mention the countless zines to have already posted about it. Yep, this place is already quite a local favourite. The set-up is simple: a few intimate short tables line the wall, with a long communal table down the middle. All are well serviced with condiments such as sesame, finely ground pepper, hot sauce, and shichimi. The long counter houses a few extra seats, as well as a pasta-maker used by the uber-friendly staff to churn out fresh noodles in front of you as you await your order.

Pasta maker and fresh bunched noodles

The menu is simple with minimal fuss. The vegetarian starter is a smoked tofu bun($4): a small, rectangular slab of smoked tofu covered with a drizzling of the tangy 'special sauce', sitting comfortably alongside some thinly sliced pickled carrot, coriander, and various seeds, all enveloped in a fluffy, warm bun. Very fresh-tasting, quite impressive. Not overly sizeable, but enough to whet the appetite. Next up is the main event: the vegetarian cashew milk ramen($13). The fresh noodles are served with a few of those rectangular slabs of tofu, shitake mushrooms, thinly chopped sticks of zucchini, and the odd arrowhead of an asparagus. I also went for the optional 'garlic bomb' - the addition of a roasted bulb of garlic for an extra $1. All of these ingredients are submerged amidst a healthy dosage of the milky broth.

So, the verdict? The best way I can think to describe it is inoffensive. The cashew milk stock adds an interesting creamy texture to the broth, but I found the dish to be lacking in liveliness. A bit of experimenting with the various condiments certainly helped matters - black sesame is a must for every kitchen table - however my feelings are that it should have had more of a stand-alone flavour to it. Given my lofty expectations, I was a bit underwhelmed.

To finish off, I treated myself to a dessert of the salted caramel and coconut shake($8). It comes served in a tall glass, the inside walls of which are coated generously with caramel syrup, and finished with a red and white candy-cane striped paper straw. Very kitschy/1950s diner-esque, cute. Quite tasty, very sweet. I actually got hints of cheesecake from it.

Shop Ramen has quickly established itself amongst the burgeoning group of popular eateries that have popped up on Smith Street in recent years, and it has done a lot right. An interesting, succinct menu; food made fresh to order in front of you; and helpful, friendly staff - yep, they even provided sympathy laughter to some apparently unfunny jokes delivered by yours truly - which creates an inviting atmosphere that draws you in. However, it needs to back up all these positives with what it delivers to the table. The highlight for me was the tofu bun. The shake is delicious, but pricey. And those straws are just impractical. They become soggy and useless within minutes. The ramen fails to reach the heights I'd hoped it would and, if you manage to finish the whole bowl, can be quite bloating. And, in spite of what they may say on Broadsheet or TimeOut, a bowl of ramen does NOT go well with a sweet, syrupy milkshake - personally, I found the mere suggestion that it would idiotic (take that bigger media!). Even with a healthy break in between the two, I was feeling the after-effects for the remainder of the evening.

A place with a lot of promise and an already huge following. But, in my opinion, not quite there yet.
*2/5

*Note: Score deducted one mark due to lingering ill-effects from the shake two days later

Grigons & Orr - North Melbourne

There are few cities around the world that rival Melbourne for sheer number of cafes, such is our obsession. With all this congestion, how do all these places survive? The quality of coffee is definitely a major factor...but I don't drink coffee, and this is a food review, so if you wanted to read about the coffee at Grigons and Orr, here's two words: JOG ON!

Yep, in my humble opinion, it's the food that sets all these places apart. However, it doesn't hurt when the place has a bit of fun with itself (cue immature giggles from some quarters). Grigons & Orr is a 'Corner Store' cafe - 445 Queensberry St North Melbourne - and it runs with the corner store milk bar/cafe motif. All sorts of creative sweet things decorate the menu - Tim Tam milkshakes?! - and the way it's decked out reminds you of those coffee houses your parents used to drive you to as a kid as you lay curled up in the back seat of the family lamborghini in blue suede shoes, wearing gold knuckle-dusters...okay, those last few things weren't real, but the cafes that doubled as a sweet-tooth's paradise were very much real, and only seem to exist in country towns nowadays. Cue Grigons & Orr, est. 2009. Downstairs you'll find the milk bar set up with a few small tables in the windows, but if you venture upstairs you'll find a couple of cute, cosy tea rooms in which to plant yourself.

The menu is fun, and very veg.-vegan friendly. Eggs done many ways with creative names, salads with which I would be MORE than happy to get a stew on, and the dish of choice for breakfast today: "The Gandhi" ($17.50), advertised as being a vegan avocado egg, potato rosti, bbq tofu, spinach - although they were out of spinach today - roasted tomato, and garnished with a sprinkling of chives. The first part of this perplexed me initially. The 'Vegan Avocado' is, in fact, a halved avocado, with a lightly herbed pumpkin puree forming the yolk. Very creative, and given my avocado obsession, very appreciated! The big question is, do all these various elements of this dish fit together? Or, to put it another way, are they at one with the others? In my opinion, they are very close, but not quite there. I'm the first to admit that breakfast is not my favourite meal of the day, but it kind of felt like there was a little bit too much happening on my plate. Perhaps the lack of an ingredient, the spinach, actually contributed to this, as the roast tomatoes felt a little surplus. The tofu was also quite a firm variety, and felt a bit stodgy going down. But let me stop myself right there, as this is me nit-picking and the truth is, I did enjoy this dish. The thing that held it together quite well was the delicious bbq marinade on the tofu, which complemented all of the other ingredients. And, naturally, I was quite taken with the avo-egg as well (ingenious!).

This place has a menu that MUST be explored. As such, I'll be leaving any numbered rating until after subsequent visits. But take it from me and Molly Meldrum: do yourself a favour and check it out!

The Gandhi

Union Club Hotel - Fitzroy

The Union Club Hotel is an institution in Fitzroy, immortalised historically as 'that pub from Offspring', so I've been told. Secondarily, it is also a member of the collection of iconic pubs that litter the backstreets of Fitzroy which make up - in my opinion - some of the most interesting and enjoyable places to have a meal and a drink in Melbourne. A no fuss night out, where you won't be chastised for wearing torn trackies, a stained hoodie, and a moth-eaten beanie - fortunate for myself, and many others out there I'm sure.

The Union Club is an interesting case to me. I've been curious about eating here for a while, but given the seemingly perennial dearth of free tables, and its close proximity to one of my favourite joints - The Napier Hotel - I have always given up on the wait and opted for the safe option. Not tonight! The menu, whilst not vast, does offer an interesting variety of dishes, as well as rotating specials. The stable veg. options are a corn fritter burger ($18, or $12 on Mon & Tue), and a spinach and ricotta cannelloni dish ($18) served with a broccoli and almond salad, with at least one rotating special as well. I won't lie, I was pretty keen to get all over that broccoli and almond salad, but if this place was to truly compete with The Napier, the strength of its home-made burger was key!

The pattie itself is nothing more than it claims to be: a corn fritter. I like corn, so not a bad start. Sandwiching the pattie is the standard tomato and cos lettuce, as well as some more southern-y stuff: jalapenos, coleslaw, sour cream and salsa. Basically, it's pretty jam packed. I'm someone who loves a little chili kick, so the jalapenos were welcome, and they complement the fritter quite well. For those not so keen on the hot stuff, fear not. Whatever mild heat is in the peppers is drowned out by the sour cream and 'slaw, so you'll feel no after effects...and even if you do, a sailor jerry and lime is only $7.50 from the bar. Win!

Where the burger falls apart is...well, everywhere, if we're being literal. The Burger is huge! Even with a Luna Park sized mouth you'll struggle to get it around the steering-wheel sized sesame bun. It's quite messy too. The kitchen is very liberal with its filling of the burger, so if you intended to look graceful whilst dining with some companions, this is perhaps not the meal for you. The other problem I found was that it was very gluggy. I felt as though the meal was sitting in my chest cavity for some time after I finished eating (FORCING me to have another Sailor Jerry).

There's no denying the food they're cooking up at the Union Club is far more interesting than your average pub grub, and my burger certainly satisfied my curiosity. Just make sure you've skipped lunch and are prepared to get your hands dirty for your next visit.

3.5/5 (Although extra points for the cheap, generous Sailor Jerry)