Monk Bodhi Dharma - Balaclava

At the risk of being accused of geographical prejudice, I decided to check out some of what the south side of town has to offer us Melbourne vegetarian types. After some brief consultations I got the word: Monk Bodhi Dharma is where it's at, so it's where I headed.

Firstly, the location is just COOL, plain and simple. Located in an old red-brick bakehouse nestled in at the rear of 202 Carlisle Street, it is one of a number of enticing foodie joints that has appeared in the fairly recent revolution of this strip, as more and more bohemian hole in the wall coffee shops, eateries and bars are popping up. And what's more - as hard as it is for a northerner to admit it - there is decidedly less of a feeling of pretension in Balaclava than at many of Fitzroy's Brunswick street establishments.

So, what to say about the Monk? Communal dining tables have been a motif of several of the nearby establishments I've been to, and the Monk holds up its end of the bargain on this front. A long, communal workbench-cum-dining table faces the counter, with several scattered private tables for those Green-conscious amongst us who wish to impress on a 1st, 2nd, or even 4th date (never the 3rd!). The all-day breakfast/lunch menu is entirely vegetarian, and majority vegan and gluten free - the Friday night dinner menu is completely vegan/gluten free, and most lunch meals can be adapted on request - and each meal is made from scratch. Sure, it means you may have to wait a few minutes more, but believe me, it's worth it!

The menu spoils you for choice. On this occasion I consulted the specials board and went for the warm vermicelli noodle salad, served with mushrooms, nuts, cherry tomatoes, iceberg lettuce and celery in a luxurious herb, chili and coconut milk dressing ($16.50). It was an absolutely mountainous dish, and was spot on. Not since dining out on street-food in Thailand have I tasted such a lively, invigorating noodle dish - the cherry tomatoes were literally bursting with flavour - and the plus being that, unlike in Thailand, there is NO doubt in my mind that the cook at Monk did not sneak a little fish sauce in under my nose. Whilst only open for breakfast and lunch - except for Friday dinners - this serve, complimented with a delicately flavoured cup of chai, was easily enough to be my meal of the day. 

Oddly enough, perhaps what Monk Bodhi Dharma is most renowned for is its coffee - it's full title is Monk Bodhi Dharma Specialty Coffee and Roastery - which, as someone for whom coffee is an extreme rarity, I didn't try on this occasion. However, if they put as much care into it as they do their food, chai and customer service, it would not surprise me if it got some of you northerner coffee junkies hooked on a regular junket south of the river. I know I can't wait until my next visit on a 1st, 2nd or 4th date (never the 3rd!).

5/5

Trippy Taco - Fitzroy review

So, if you have yet to hear about Trippy Taco, allow me to quote Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from Full Metal Jacket: "What is your major malfunction?!"

But enough of that. Trippy Taco is, as the name suggests, a taco joint on Gertrude street, Fitzroy, offering a take on Mexican street food. And the best part? It is almost entirely vegetarian! I say 'almost', as there has never been any hiding the fact at TT (as those of us in the borough call it) that they use animal rennet cheese. However, on my most recent visit, I discovered that they now offer you the choice of rennet or rennet-free cheese. Or for the more timid vegos amongst us, you can avoid that whole minefield by coughing up an extra 50c for soy cheese instead.

So, to the food. There's the standard mix of Mexicana: burritos, tacos, quesadillas, taquitos, and nachos; as well as a range of mexican beers (sol, corona, dos equis, pacifico, negra modelo, modelo especial), sangria and margaritas in the drinks department.

On this occasion, myself and my companion endeavoured to take a cross-section of what was on offer, starting with the highly regarded Trippy Fries - a basket of shoestring fries served with house seasoning, and the option of sour cream on top. I think it's pretty difficult to wow anyone with shoestring fries, and the results were no different at TT, but the seasoning added a bit of tang and the fries were certainly tasty enough. The real story is in the main event. I ordered a single tofu asada taco, and a regular nachos (both with soy cheese), whilst my companion went for the tofu asada burrito - which I proceeded to eat half of due to its comparable mass to the the guy who ordered it.
Now, I know it's not overly imaginative to both go for the tofu asada filling - not really the cross-section of the menu we had aspired to. Let me fill you in: the tofu asada consists of spicy grilled tofu, salsa, salad, avocado, and a fresh lime wedge to add as you go. Here's a little something you should know about me. I FROTH over fresh avocado and lime! So, really, there was no chance of me looking beyond the tofu asada, and it didn't disappoint. All the ingredients are freshly assembled and tasty enough, with no skimping on the avocado, which seems to be a thing at other taco joints, and the soy nachos proved a winning, cheesy counterpoint to the salady goodness of the taco and half-eaten burrito of my compadre. Possibly the only let-down is that the 'spicy grilled tofu' was lacking in spice. Also, if you have an allergy to hipsters, you best bring an epi-pen because this joint will send you into anaphylactic shock. Me personally, I don't mind the happy-go-lucky scamps. Nor do I mind Trippy Taco and its cheap, generous sized serves of cheesy, salady avocado and lime goodness.

4.5/5

The Napier Hotel - Fitzroy review

Righto, whilst the whole concept of someone having never eaten at the Napier is as incomprehensible to me as Tony Abbott winning Miss Universe, apparently it is the case - the former, not the latter. Although anything seems possible to me now. Good luck Tony!

Tucked on the corner of Napier and Moor streets, the Napier is a Fitzroy institution. Just one of the many backstreet Fitzroy pubs that make this suburb such an appealing location to sink some suds, the Napier is very much the bar-setter when it comes to imaginative pub food. The front bar is adorned with Fitzroy Lions paraphernalia, the bar is well-stocked with 10 beers on tap, and there are two large indoor dining spaces, to go with the tidy beer garden and street front seating. Basically, what you want, they've got.

The menu is constantly rotating, which adds a little excitement to each return visit as you never quite know what you're going to get. It seems the the cooks are perennially looking at ways to innovate with the menu, however there are some staples that always remain. Most notably, the infamous 'Bogan Burger'. Weighing in at 7000 kilojoules, the burger consists of a steak, chicken schnitzel, potato cake, bacon, egg, cheese, onion, pineapple and beetroot, with a generous serve of shoestring fries and coleslaw on the side. Not an ideal meal for a vego, but I'm still always in awe of this offering. From the vego perspective, there is always at least one burger on offer. Over the years these rotations have included the 'tofu sanga', the lentil and chickpea special, cous cous and haloumi, cannellini  beans and haloumi...and various others for which my memory escapes me. Basically, every few months there is a new concoction on offer, always worth a go. At present, it is a spicy green lentil burger with pickled zuchini, avocado, and aioli, served with the standard fries and coleslaw. It is a burger that WILL NOT disappoint you. Other options are the black-eyed bean dhal served with house-made roti and salad (another winner, from previous experience), and at least one option from the specials board. Nothing will set you back more than $20, the serves are incredibly generous, and on a lazy summer evening you may find yourself sampling most - if not all - of the impressively diverse range of brews on tap. A favourite haunt, and comes with the highest recommendation.
5/5

Horn Please - Fitzroy North review

On the very day that I finally made the trip to the Batman Park to sample the wares of the Gumbo Kitchen, I very nearly deviated from my carefully laid plans when I discovered the Dhaba Food Truck parked 20 metres up the road. I have always been enticed by Indian food; the spices, the aromas, and the fact that vegetarian options are more than a mere afterthought. After a little research, I learnt that the brains behind the Dhaba food truck are actually Kyneton's acclaimed Dhaba at the Mill team, and they were about to open Horn Please on St Georges Rd. That's just a few blocks away, WIN!

After hearing nothing but good things in its opening few weeks, it was with great anticipation that I finally made the 5 block stumble to see what all the fuss was about...and there was a lot of fuss. The place was absolutely buzzing with excited diners, perusing the ample drinks list - beers are either micro-brews or imported - and salivating over the seasonal menu. This is one of the cornerstones of Horn Please: traditional Indian street food - as the name suggests - made from quality, fresh ingredients. The menu has some recognisable dishes, but also many that are less familiar. The papdi chaat came particularly recommended. Described as the indian take on nachos, it is a fusion of fried flour crisps, chickpeas and pomegranate in a salsa. My dinner consisted of a combination of the papdi chaat, the samosas, and the Mumbai rolls: a take on spring rolls stuffed with pear, caggage, zuchini and carrot - although these have seemingly already been rotated from the menu - to start, followed by the dhal makhani with basmati rice and the sesame and onion seed naan.

My main gripe with the food is probably borne somewhat out of my own level of expectation, but valid none-the-less. Certainly, the array of authentic street cuisine on offer is impressive, and the freshness of the ingredients compared to that of the corner store, Polak-run Indian takeaway joint is obvious to even the 10-pack a-day smoker. However, just what is being done with the ingredients is the problem. Whilst the papdi chaat provided something a little different, on the whole the food was incredibly underwhelming. Much talk had been about the fragrant spicing, however all I could note was the distinct lack of spice in every dish we tried. It's all well and good to be creative with the ingredients, but it felt like there was a little something missing in each dish to bring out the flavour. I did enjoy the contrasting flavours in the mumbai rolls, but one starter - which is no longer on the menu - is not quite enough to be a saving grace. Perhaps this place is better suited to the carnivorous diner, but didn't quite do enough to entice repeat business from this herbivore.

2/5

The GUMBO KITCHEN - review

Melbourne - the inner north in particular - is becoming food truck mad! Take a cruise down Park St, North Carlton, on any Friday summer night and you'll see the Beatbox burger van with a bigger clamouring of worshippers than even Charles and Camilla have managed to muster on their recent visit. Not too long ago, I finally fulfilled a long held ambition of hitting up the mobile Gumbo kitchen. After spending an indulgent few days in 'Nawlins, Looziana' last year, I missed the Southern cuisine, and was thrilled to learn that the Gumbo Kitchen also offered a vegetarian option, alongside the traditional Gumbos and iconic PoBoys. Score one for us planet-saving types!
The premise of the food van is fantastic, particularly in summertime. Louisiana funk band music blaring, generally on location park-side, eating from recyclable food containers: there is a simplicity to it that is quite enjoyable, as the popularity would suggest. Unfortunately, the limitations of cooking in a van does affect the quality of the fare on offer. The deep-fried green tomatoes did manage to transport me back to those Southern days, but the sweet corn gumbo tasted quite bland - unless dressed handsomely in one of the various hot sauces - and the gluggy balls of sticky rice did nothing to save the situation. My non-vego companions were of a similar opinion, although the whisper is that the PoBoys are the real speciality here. It feels as though the food is a victim of its own popularity. Compensation for cooking quantities at pace, is a loss of taste. Worth a try for the experience, but unlikely to inspire repetitive business from this guy.

2/5