Clifton's Cafe - Fitzroy North

Happy holidays loyal readers!

In the traditional wash-up of this festive period which inevitably culminates with an array of intoxicated "ooh"s and "ahh"s at an exorbitant - albeit impressive - pyrotechnics display, we often burst forth into the new year with those same old resolutions: to shake off those extra holiday kilos; to try new things; and...some third thing. Well, it is currently December 30th 2013 and I decided I couldn't wait an extra two days! No, I don't care for shaking off any more kilos - as a vegetarian, my aspirations in that department go more in the opposite direction. However, I have ventured into some fairly uncharted territory (the "new things" resolution). Yep, I have beaten seemingly all but Rod Quantock to reviewing a cafe! Now I know how guys like Christopher Columbus, Sir Edmund Hilary, and Neil Armstrong must have felt.

But enough about me, 'where/what is Clifton's Cafe?' I hear you ask. Firstly, as there is a little confusion on google searches, it is located at 310 Queens Pde, Fitzroy North, not in downtown Los Angeles. This isn't your big-noting trendy eatery, but nor is it a drab diner. It is very much in pace with the smart eateries and shops that litter this strip. Whilst the bain-marie lasagnas and and hot dishes up the back didn't look overly inspiring, the heavily Lebanese influenced salads, slices and pastries were certainly enough to catch my attention. 

Spinach and Pinenut Omelette. A mouthful!

Food here is not for those with eyes bigger than their stomachs. I was particularly taken with a large rectangular slice that dominated the salad bar. It appeared reminiscent of the spinach slices my Nonna used to regularly make. As it turned out, this was a spinach and pinenut omelette. As avid readers will already be aware, I am not particularly enamoured of eggs or omelettes, so perhaps this was not the ideal meal selection for myself, but it certainly had its own distinctive taste. The addition of some Middle Eastern spices gave it a richer, earthy flavour. My massive omelette/slice came with three salads and the obligatory dollop of hummus - the hummus was a definite necessity, as I feel the omelette would have been a bit dry without it. I only wish I had been giving a little more.

Probably my main interest here was in the lebanese salads. The pick of the bunch for me was the bulgur salad, mixed with tomato, spring onion and parsley. Light, tasty, perfect summer lunch food. For the other two sides, I opted for the rice, lentil and onion pilaf, and the arabic salad - red cabbage, tomato, cucumber, parsley and spring onion. The latter reminded me very much of my time in the Mid-East. The pilaf was probably a little hefty given the enormous amount of food on the plate, but simple and tasty none-the-less. There was also a a green cabbage salad/slaw with a more tangy taste, and a chickpea salad which I did not get to try on this occasion. I feel on my next visit, I'd go for a plate of just the salads to keep it a bit lighter. Don't get me wrong, I certainly got through all of the food - and a large portion of my companion's! - however, I did struggle to pull myself out of the chair a little afterwards.

A very unassuming little eatery, but the friendly staff and fresh salads and pastries make it one definitely worth stopping in at.

3.5/5

Foxtrot Charlie - Brunswick

Breakfast: my least-favoured meal of the day. All too often I avoid eating until after 11am purely so I can call the bowl of soggy cereal in - what is certainly by this stage - tepid milk "brunch". Deep down in my heart I know what this bowl before me really is - a bowl of disintegrating dreams - but somehow it becomes more palatable with a different title. (A rose by any other name indeed!)

Apologies for appearing to get so morbid, I should confess that I rarely actually eat cereal, but I DO vastly prefer brunch to breakfast. Don't get me wrong, I love the crunch of my vegemite on sourdough toast in the morning, but whenever I go out for breakfast I regularly find the menu options to be particularly uninspiring. Essentially, they seem to be bacon and eggs made fifty different ways, invariably with the veg. twist being that the bacon has been removed from the dish with slightly more egg added. And the vegan option? Don't get me started! Fortunately, there are many breakfast spots that have decided they can't put up with my whinging any longer, and have decided to prove that there can be more to your morning meal than pig and eggs (Exhibit 'A': Grigons & Orr). Many such cafes can be found in the cultural mixing pot that is Brunswick, and one in particular is Foxtrot Charlie on Sydney Road. Boasting the use of organic produce, and a rotating range of interesting deli goodies, there is sure to be something to take your fancy. For instance, the 3 cheese Panini: Meredith Goats Cheese, Schamorza, and assaggio, layered with salad-y goodness. One look at it and it screams out to you! Also, for the uninitiated, schamorza is a personal favourite of mine, and under-utilized far too often in my opinion.

But I came here to go for one of the breakfast specialties, so I opted for the Saint Joseph's Day Fritter

The Fritter!

(Veg. Version - $16.50): a ricotta fritter served with sauteed mushrooms on a pea fondue. There is only one word that for me accurately captures this dish: juicy! This fritter is like a water bomb exploding in your mouth. You know, the kind you used to throw at your friends in those carefree youthful summer days. Or, alternatively, at your best friend's Winter bbq last June - hilarious at the time, but his girlfriend hasn't spoken to you since. Of course, when I say "water bomb", I don't mean to say that it is loaded with liquid. Nope, I'm referring to the taste explosion that goes off the moment you crunch through the crispy fritter exterior. The mushrooms, too, were unbelievable. I'm the first to admit that I am not the biggest fan of mushrooms, but in this dish I did not merely tolerate them, I gobbled them! Juicy, sweet, salty...they were a work in contradictions. The pea fondue was like the calming voice of the dish, keeping all the outrageous flavours in check, binding them.

Pistachio and Yoghurt Mousse Cake

It's not all peaches and cream. Whilst I was served a very elegant looking hot chocolate, it was rather watery. However, there are only a few places in Melbourne where the hot chocolate is the decisive factor in me returning, and - fear not Foxtrotters - this is not one of them. Aside from my incredible breakfast, the other thing that stood out for me about this place was the service. The wait staff genuinely make you feel like they're happy to see you...more so than some of my close friends! As an added bonus, we were treated to a sample of some freshly made pistachio and yoghurt mousse cake, which is certainly worth a try.

There's plenty more on offer here for the meat-a-tarians amongst us and the veg. options are a little limited, but what they do have, they do exceedingly well. Watch out Green Refectory, you've got competition!

5/5 (How could I not, they actually had me enjoying my mushrooms!)

Gazi - Melbourne

I know I know, yet another review about Gazi in Melbourne. Does George Calombaris really need more of a leg-up? Probably not, but his contribution to cuisine in Melbourne should be acknowledged. And no, I'm not referring to Masterchef. Honestly, I could not give two 'you-know-whats' about most reality TV shows, let alone one where all of our natural senses get repeatedly assaulted by Matt Preston's 'look-at-me' cravats. That being said, I suppose any show that re-engages people with food should be commended.

But allow me to backtrack from this tangent and get back on point. My real interest in Gazi comes from my often neglected Greek heritage. I owe much of my culinary education to my Nonna (I know, 'nonna' is Italian. It was a confusing childhood, roll with it) and her three sisters. I have many memories of Greek Easters and family gatherings where unbelievable amounts of home-made Greek fare mounted every surface in the house, none of which you could knock back. Not that you'd want to of course, but have you ever tried to knock back food offered to you by a Greek Grandma? You're taking your life in your hands if you do!

The problem for me with going out for Greek these days is that most restaurants are far less accommodating to my vegetarian needs than my nonna. Fortunately, Gazi has a wide array of meze to cover most dietary preferences. No fuss Athens street food, that's the order of the day. Unlike its predecessor on this location The Press Club, there's a more chilled out vibe at Gazi, a Greek diner motif. There's a stack of backgammon boards near the entrance, presumably free to use for diners. That being said, I'm not sure how keen the wait staff would be on a backgammon tournament starting up during dinner hours. The ceiling is obscured by kitsch hanging terracotta pots, and the kitchen is open plan so that you can see the flair with which your dinner is being whipped up, presumably just like on the streets of Athens.

Oh yeah, that brings me to the food.

DIPS: Served with lightly grilled house-made pita
Zucchini, Feta & Mint - Lumpy and green, almost salsa-like. Offers almost lemony undertones, countered nicely with the sharp taste of the feta. In stark contrast to the smoother consistency of the more yoghurt based dips. My favourite.
Miso Melitzanosalata - An interesting twist on a Greek classic, this version has a creamy texture, the bitterness of the eggplant countered by the saltiness of the miso, and finished with yoghurt and capers for extra tang.
Sweet Potato skordalia, pinenuts, orange - Skordalia: another Greek staple I remember from my childhood. This was the dip I was looking forward to the most. As a result - perhaps unsurprisingly - it was the most underwhelming of the three. That says more about the quality of the other two than it does about this one. I love my garlic, however the strong garlic-y tones I recall from my youth were absent here, a little overpowered by the sweetness of the sweet potato (yep, sweet potatoes are sweet. Must remember that).

ETHNIKA VROMIKA (HELLENIC DIRTY FOOD):
Vegetables - I got the impression from our waiter that the vegetables in this dish are subject to variation. Today it consisted of various coloured heirloom carrots, radish, cucumber and celery, coated with a tomato and oil dressing, all sitting on a bed of tahini and garlic yoghurt. Very simple dish, prepare for things to get messy once the yoghurt and tahini climb all over the veg!
Cheese (Saganaki) - Fried in a generous amount of oil to add extra crunch, the large slab of saganaki oozes richness. A tip, don't do it all by yourself, your body won't thank you! Goes great with some of the lighter salads/dips.

WOOD FIRE GRILL:
Corn - Only a small half-cob, another simple pleasure, but what a pleasure it is! Outrageously coated in various seeds, you could mistake the cobs for bird-feeders. Add to this a generous (and I mean generous!) smattering of the Aleppo pepper mayonnaise to coat the cob and, baby, you just bought yourself a one way ticket to Flavour Town!

SALADS, VEGETABLES, PULSES & GRAINS:
Grean Peas Salad: Neglected from the online menu, this option consisted of peas and crispy fried cauliflower, dressed with a herbed garnish and almond dressing. A much lighter, summery option that complements the Saganaki nicely.
Fasolia: Fresh crunch of green and yellow beans, asparagus, shaved fennel, radish, and hazelnuts on a thick white bean skordalia. The bitterness of the bed of Skordalia is offset by the crispy greens. I was particularly drawn to this dish due to the fasolia I consumed in my youth. Doesn't stack up to my Nonna's version, but nothing ever does. Still worth a try.
Chips: I know what you're thinking. Why go to one of Melbourne's hottest restaurants just to order chips?! Well slow down there Judgy McJudge, let me explain. Much like with Castrol where "oils ain't oils", at Gazi chips ain't chips. The house-cut 'tiganites patates' are crispified (it's a word) in a healthy amount of garlic and olive oil, then crashed together in a bowl with oregano and feta. If you take up a seat near the open kitchen you can watch the magic of it all unfold before you.

To accompany this plethora of food, I elected to go for a fresh juice over the ludicrously priced beer selection. One option stuck out above the rest: cucumber juice. Well, I'd be stupid not to, right? It tasted, well, pretty much how you'd expect I guess; like cucumber flavoured water. However, it was exceedingly refreshing. I can see myself blending many a cucumber to help cool myself down during our coming climate change infused summer days.

As you can see, there are ample veg. options, and there are plenty of others I was simply too stuffed to try, and not outrageously priced either. With all the hype, you expect Gazi to be good. And whilst there were a few underwhelming dishes, it has to be said, it still lives up to the hype!

4/5

Blurry Mezé shot

Ministry of Curry - East Brunswick

Lygon Street, East Brunswick, is fast becoming my favourite food and bar strip in Melbourne. Where once there was just the iconic Gelobar swimming amidst a sea of Indian curry houses, now there are countless wine bars, pizzerias, and other restaurants serving dishes from all corners of the globe...except for maybe Greenland. From Burger houses, to Mid-Eastern cuisine, and an array of Asian restaurants, Lygon Street has a little somethin' somethin' for all and sundry. AND, being in Melbourne's hipster inner North, you can bet your sweet bippy there'll be veg. options wherever you choose to chow down.

Ministry of Curry is one of the relative newcomers to the strip. I know I know, another curry restaurant in East Brunswick? I can hear John McEnroe's catch-cry "you cannot be serious!" ringing in my ears. But this place differentiates itself in that it is the only restaurant around these parts to serve up traditional Sri Lankan cuisine. Well, that was enough to prompt this curious cat to investigate.

First of all, I should say that there is quite a bit of range on the menu, so naturally I didn't even come close to getting an adequate sample size, but let's just work off what I did try. There is only one vegetarian option amongst the entrees - lentil croquettes (5pcs - $10.90) - so naturally these seemed like the logical way to begin. The croquettes are nice and crispy on the outside, with a lightly spiced, floury lentil and potato filling, drizzled with a mild, tangy dipping sauce.

For the mains, a couple of curries to share were the order of the day. On recommendation from the rather shy waitress, we went with the green bean curry($8.50) - served with onions and a little chilli, swimming in a lightly spiced coconut sauce - and the parippu (lentil) curry($7.50), with sides of rice and the coconut roti - thinner and firmer than the Indian equivalent. Both curries were fairly mild, but not lacking in taste by any stretch. The prevalence of coconut - milk and shavings - added that tropical fragrance to the dishes, really enlivening the flavours and combining perfectly with the rice, roti and the parippu curry.

I'm a little sick of going out to eat at establishments where blandness in cooking is accepted and celebrated. I want my taste buds to come alive with flavours, not have to conduct some sort of CSI experiment to determine whether any DNA traces of taste exist in my mouth. Thankfully, none of that was necessary at the Ministry.

It's not all flowers and chocolates. The service was a little awkward, and they managed to initially forget our order of rice. But that's just me nit-picking. Ministry of Curry is a place still finding its feet on what is now becoming a very congested restaurant strip, but I really hope they hang in there. I'll be returning, that's for sure.

4/5

Shop Ramen - Collingwood

Shop Ramen - 329 Smith Street, Collingwood - was a place I'd had my eye on for some time. East Asian noodle dishes - as most vegos will attest - are sort of a 'forbidden fruit' in the vegetarian world. Whenever I see someone hoe into a bowl of noodles, my salivary glands immediately kick into action. However, if you believe that most "vegetarian" options on offer at your local noodle house are kosher - so to speak - you are simply kidding yourself. Think about the stock people, think about the stock! At Shop Ramen, the biggest draw card is that the vegetarian option is spruiked as being made from a vegan, cashew nut stock. Boom! There it is, food's 'Berlin Wall' just got torn down!

To say "I went to Shop Ramen BEFORE it was cool" would be inaccurate, as the massive line out the door for a table at 7:30pm attested - not to mention the countless zines to have already posted about it. Yep, this place is already quite a local favourite. The set-up is simple: a few intimate short tables line the wall, with a long communal table down the middle. All are well serviced with condiments such as sesame, finely ground pepper, hot sauce, and shichimi. The long counter houses a few extra seats, as well as a pasta-maker used by the uber-friendly staff to churn out fresh noodles in front of you as you await your order.

Pasta maker and fresh bunched noodles

The menu is simple with minimal fuss. The vegetarian starter is a smoked tofu bun($4): a small, rectangular slab of smoked tofu covered with a drizzling of the tangy 'special sauce', sitting comfortably alongside some thinly sliced pickled carrot, coriander, and various seeds, all enveloped in a fluffy, warm bun. Very fresh-tasting, quite impressive. Not overly sizeable, but enough to whet the appetite. Next up is the main event: the vegetarian cashew milk ramen($13). The fresh noodles are served with a few of those rectangular slabs of tofu, shitake mushrooms, thinly chopped sticks of zucchini, and the odd arrowhead of an asparagus. I also went for the optional 'garlic bomb' - the addition of a roasted bulb of garlic for an extra $1. All of these ingredients are submerged amidst a healthy dosage of the milky broth.

So, the verdict? The best way I can think to describe it is inoffensive. The cashew milk stock adds an interesting creamy texture to the broth, but I found the dish to be lacking in liveliness. A bit of experimenting with the various condiments certainly helped matters - black sesame is a must for every kitchen table - however my feelings are that it should have had more of a stand-alone flavour to it. Given my lofty expectations, I was a bit underwhelmed.

To finish off, I treated myself to a dessert of the salted caramel and coconut shake($8). It comes served in a tall glass, the inside walls of which are coated generously with caramel syrup, and finished with a red and white candy-cane striped paper straw. Very kitschy/1950s diner-esque, cute. Quite tasty, very sweet. I actually got hints of cheesecake from it.

Shop Ramen has quickly established itself amongst the burgeoning group of popular eateries that have popped up on Smith Street in recent years, and it has done a lot right. An interesting, succinct menu; food made fresh to order in front of you; and helpful, friendly staff - yep, they even provided sympathy laughter to some apparently unfunny jokes delivered by yours truly - which creates an inviting atmosphere that draws you in. However, it needs to back up all these positives with what it delivers to the table. The highlight for me was the tofu bun. The shake is delicious, but pricey. And those straws are just impractical. They become soggy and useless within minutes. The ramen fails to reach the heights I'd hoped it would and, if you manage to finish the whole bowl, can be quite bloating. And, in spite of what they may say on Broadsheet or TimeOut, a bowl of ramen does NOT go well with a sweet, syrupy milkshake - personally, I found the mere suggestion that it would idiotic (take that bigger media!). Even with a healthy break in between the two, I was feeling the after-effects for the remainder of the evening.

A place with a lot of promise and an already huge following. But, in my opinion, not quite there yet.
*2/5

*Note: Score deducted one mark due to lingering ill-effects from the shake two days later

Grigons & Orr - North Melbourne

There are few cities around the world that rival Melbourne for sheer number of cafes, such is our obsession. With all this congestion, how do all these places survive? The quality of coffee is definitely a major factor...but I don't drink coffee, and this is a food review, so if you wanted to read about the coffee at Grigons and Orr, here's two words: JOG ON!

Yep, in my humble opinion, it's the food that sets all these places apart. However, it doesn't hurt when the place has a bit of fun with itself (cue immature giggles from some quarters). Grigons & Orr is a 'Corner Store' cafe - 445 Queensberry St North Melbourne - and it runs with the corner store milk bar/cafe motif. All sorts of creative sweet things decorate the menu - Tim Tam milkshakes?! - and the way it's decked out reminds you of those coffee houses your parents used to drive you to as a kid as you lay curled up in the back seat of the family lamborghini in blue suede shoes, wearing gold knuckle-dusters...okay, those last few things weren't real, but the cafes that doubled as a sweet-tooth's paradise were very much real, and only seem to exist in country towns nowadays. Cue Grigons & Orr, est. 2009. Downstairs you'll find the milk bar set up with a few small tables in the windows, but if you venture upstairs you'll find a couple of cute, cosy tea rooms in which to plant yourself.

The menu is fun, and very veg.-vegan friendly. Eggs done many ways with creative names, salads with which I would be MORE than happy to get a stew on, and the dish of choice for breakfast today: "The Gandhi" ($17.50), advertised as being a vegan avocado egg, potato rosti, bbq tofu, spinach - although they were out of spinach today - roasted tomato, and garnished with a sprinkling of chives. The first part of this perplexed me initially. The 'Vegan Avocado' is, in fact, a halved avocado, with a lightly herbed pumpkin puree forming the yolk. Very creative, and given my avocado obsession, very appreciated! The big question is, do all these various elements of this dish fit together? Or, to put it another way, are they at one with the others? In my opinion, they are very close, but not quite there. I'm the first to admit that breakfast is not my favourite meal of the day, but it kind of felt like there was a little bit too much happening on my plate. Perhaps the lack of an ingredient, the spinach, actually contributed to this, as the roast tomatoes felt a little surplus. The tofu was also quite a firm variety, and felt a bit stodgy going down. But let me stop myself right there, as this is me nit-picking and the truth is, I did enjoy this dish. The thing that held it together quite well was the delicious bbq marinade on the tofu, which complemented all of the other ingredients. And, naturally, I was quite taken with the avo-egg as well (ingenious!).

This place has a menu that MUST be explored. As such, I'll be leaving any numbered rating until after subsequent visits. But take it from me and Molly Meldrum: do yourself a favour and check it out!

The Gandhi

Union Club Hotel - Fitzroy

The Union Club Hotel is an institution in Fitzroy, immortalised historically as 'that pub from Offspring', so I've been told. Secondarily, it is also a member of the collection of iconic pubs that litter the backstreets of Fitzroy which make up - in my opinion - some of the most interesting and enjoyable places to have a meal and a drink in Melbourne. A no fuss night out, where you won't be chastised for wearing torn trackies, a stained hoodie, and a moth-eaten beanie - fortunate for myself, and many others out there I'm sure.

The Union Club is an interesting case to me. I've been curious about eating here for a while, but given the seemingly perennial dearth of free tables, and its close proximity to one of my favourite joints - The Napier Hotel - I have always given up on the wait and opted for the safe option. Not tonight! The menu, whilst not vast, does offer an interesting variety of dishes, as well as rotating specials. The stable veg. options are a corn fritter burger ($18, or $12 on Mon & Tue), and a spinach and ricotta cannelloni dish ($18) served with a broccoli and almond salad, with at least one rotating special as well. I won't lie, I was pretty keen to get all over that broccoli and almond salad, but if this place was to truly compete with The Napier, the strength of its home-made burger was key!

The pattie itself is nothing more than it claims to be: a corn fritter. I like corn, so not a bad start. Sandwiching the pattie is the standard tomato and cos lettuce, as well as some more southern-y stuff: jalapenos, coleslaw, sour cream and salsa. Basically, it's pretty jam packed. I'm someone who loves a little chili kick, so the jalapenos were welcome, and they complement the fritter quite well. For those not so keen on the hot stuff, fear not. Whatever mild heat is in the peppers is drowned out by the sour cream and 'slaw, so you'll feel no after effects...and even if you do, a sailor jerry and lime is only $7.50 from the bar. Win!

Where the burger falls apart is...well, everywhere, if we're being literal. The Burger is huge! Even with a Luna Park sized mouth you'll struggle to get it around the steering-wheel sized sesame bun. It's quite messy too. The kitchen is very liberal with its filling of the burger, so if you intended to look graceful whilst dining with some companions, this is perhaps not the meal for you. The other problem I found was that it was very gluggy. I felt as though the meal was sitting in my chest cavity for some time after I finished eating (FORCING me to have another Sailor Jerry).

There's no denying the food they're cooking up at the Union Club is far more interesting than your average pub grub, and my burger certainly satisfied my curiosity. Just make sure you've skipped lunch and are prepared to get your hands dirty for your next visit.

3.5/5 (Although extra points for the cheap, generous Sailor Jerry)

Half Moon Cafe - Coburg

  Half Moon Cafe! For years I have been insisting that people come here to try the falafels, waxing lyrical about how they are the best of the best in Melbourne. "How could I be sure?" the unfortunate souls I'd ambush exiting Falafel Kitchen would ask. My response was always along the lines of "well, I've heard...I mean, people say they're good and...hey, just eat the damn falafels, alright!"

No, I do not own shares in the business. And yes, shameful as it is for me to admit, I had never actually tried one of their falafels for myself and had just gone by hearsay. Reliable hearsay, but hearsay nonetheless. Well all that changes now!

After getting my Ottolenghi/Delia on in the Middle East earlier in the year, you can consider me a self-proclaimed connoisseur of the falafel ball. And if you have read my "blogging on the road: Israel" post, you'll know I have a particular soft spot for the original falafel - the Egyptian falafel. Conveniently, Half Moon Cafe are purveyors of exactly that, which I imagine goes some way to explaining their reputation as being one of the best in town. Where Israel, Syria, Lebanon, Palestine and...well, most of the Middle East make their falafel out of predominantly chickpeas, the Egyptian version has a fava bean base. At Half Moon, the falafel mix is part fava bean and part broad bean, with some coriander, garlic and various other herbs and spices thrown in for good measure. What is refreshing is that the falafels here are made on the spot from a fresh falafel mix. Not the re-heated, mass produced rubbish found at far too many late night outlets.

Yep, falafels are serious business here and there is a plethora of options on the menu to choose from. We settled on the signature Half Moon falafel, and the Colibaba (both a generous size at $7.50 each). Myself and my accomplice were keen to try both, and the guys behind the counter were only too happy to oblige and serve them up in halves for us. Our opinions were divided. For me, the signature Half Moon came out on top. The wrap is generously laced with lettuce, rocket, tabouli, chickpeas, hummus, yoghurt, tahini, black olives and pickles...oh, and let's not forget the falafels themselves. Yep, all that in one wrap! The saltiness of the olives mixing with the tang of the various pickles just gives the wrap an extra zing that...well, it just does it for me. The Colibaba has what I would define as a more mature taste. The wrap consists of freshly grilled cauliflower and eggplant, babaganoush, yoghurt, lettuce and rocket, and was top dog according to my amigo. I personally feel it's more of a formal, sit-down falafel wrap - mainly because I have never before had cauliflower in wrap form - whilst the Half Moon is more of an 'eat on the go' type of deal. I have to say though, both were pretty damn good. In fact, I will happily go as far as to say that these are the number one falafels I have tasted in Melbourne. For an extra few $$$, you can order your meal on a plate instead of in a wrap, take a seat out the front, and soak in the cultural stew that is Coburg life passing by whilst chowing down on some deliciously crispy falafel balls. Mark this one down on your bucket list chums. It's a Good'un!

5/5

Los Hermanos Taqueria - Brunswick

Los Hermanos - Spanish for "brothers". I cannot hear the word "Hermano" without having a flash of Gob Bluth. Ever since the that episode of Arrested Development aired nearly a decade ago, that single Spanish word has become a mainstay in this guy's lexicon. So, if you were at Los Hermanos last Friday night and confused as to why someone kept obnoxiously repeating the word "Hermano" out loud, mystery solved and my apologies.

So, onto the place itself. Los Hermanos is a taqueria - meaning that tacos and imported Mexican beers are the order of the day here. Tucked away on the quiet side of the train tracks on Victoria Street, Brunswick, it wouldn't be difficult not to know of its existence. But for those who are aware, it appears to be an addiction, with table waits of up to an hour and not a spare seat in the house. It's a small space, but they make the most of it. There are no menus other than the vast blackboard behind the counter, with specials scribbled wherever space can be found - generally under the display of beers - and unless I completely missed where the cutlery is kept, you have to be prepared to eat with your hands - a preference of mine anyway.

The food is quite reasonably priced, with the majority of tacos fetching $5, gorditas slightly more. The vegetarian option across the board is a choice of either zuchini or mushroom. For my meal I decided to go for a selection: Zuchini taco, the fajitas special, a cactus salad, and a bottle of Bohemia.

The zuchini taco (right) came first, and in a way that was a slight problem. Why you ask? Because the zuchini taco was incredible! How would the fajitas match up to it? I did make one error with the taco of going a little overboard with green habanero hot sauce. Unfortunately I tend to be a tad gung-ho with condiments. The taco itself is relatively mild and does lend itself to a little extra heat...just not as much as I drenched the top of it in. Regardless, I can still tell you it not only hit the spot, but all sorts of spots I didn't know existed. A lively mix of crisp, shredded lettuce, sprinkling of grated cheese - rennet-free, of course - and drizzling of sour cream complimented the hot zuchini mixture in the middle beautifully. This is, without a doubt, the best taco I have ever had in Melbourne. In the end, I regretted not ordering a second.

Of course, the reason I ordered only one was because I also went for the evening special: a serving of three potato and poblano pepper fajitas ($12). In tightly bound tortillas, the fajitas were topped with tomato, lettuce, cheese, sour cream, and a mild green pepper sauce. Beautiful constructions, but lacking the flavour explosion of the zuchini taco. I little red habanero helped bring it alive, but it was perhaps a little too subtle following the taco.

Complimenting both the fajitas and the taco was the cactus salad (below, $7.50). Soft, stewed strips of cacti are mixed in with peppers, cheese, fresh tomato, and some herbs. It almost tastes like a pickled salad, oozing with flavour. It provided a neat counterpoint to the heat of my habanero drenched taco, and had a very cleansing effect on the palate.

There are a few drawbacks of Los Hermanos, mainly due to its small size and huge popularity. On a busy night, the food takes a long time to arrive - even a drinks order took 20 minutes - and our table and seats were a little cramped and rickety. But that's nit-picking, and I prefer to focus on what's important: the tacos! This place is a taqueria. It does predominantly one thing, and boy does it do it well!

4.5/5 (And a hint for non-vegos: From all reports, the fish tacos are off the chain!)

The Hungarian - Bridge Rd, Richmond

Hungary has always seemed a fairly unassuming country to me. On my first backpacking trip a few years ago, the extent of my knowledge of this land was borne predominantly out of their love for paprika, a substandard national football team (in my view), and my mid-90s Dos computer game 'Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?' Yet, in spite of not knowing a whole lot about this country - other than that Carmen and her gang were once spotted by the riverfront by a talking parrot - I still found myself feeling a strong pull to visit it. I'm glad I did, it's an incredible place steeped in history.

More or less, the same can be said about The Hungarian in Richmond - give or take the "history" comment. Hungarian cuisine is not renown for its vegetarian fare, perhaps the big attraction of this place was that they offer a variety of vegetarian takes on Hungarian classics. That, and they have a very playfully written menu. Under the option "Hokkien Noodles with Bok Choi and Soy Sauce", you'll find the description "We don't serve this on any day. Sorry, this is a Hungarian restaurant". Honestly, do yourself a favour and just look up the menu online. If that doesn't pique your interest in this place, then I can only assume you're a Mad About You fan.

So, what to eat? Well, don't expect extravagance. What you will get here is simple, hearty Hungarian fare. Think lots of paprika, sour cream, bread, cheese, dumplings, and pickled cabbage salads. If you're of Eastern bloc heritage, it'll be a nostalgic trip for your tastebuds back to your childhood in the Soviet Union. At least, it seemed to be for my Polish padre. To start out with, we opted for two appetisers: the Meatless Chevabs

with chive yoghurt, and Lángos - described as "unchallengedly Hungarian". The Chevabs are sausage-shaped concoctions, consisting of zuchini, carrot, potatoes, bread and various herbs, served with a chive yoghurt - although I suspect it was really sour cream, not yoghurt. As well as an appetiser, there is the option to have this dish as a main, and it would not be a bad option. A problem I often find with vegie burgers/patties etc. are that they can taste a little like a mush of whatever the maker could smash into them. The Chevab does not re-define cooking in any particular way, but nor does it aspire to. The 'sausages' are well-constructed - not mush - and complimented very well by the chive yoghurt/sour cream. Simple,

tasty. I could have eaten many more of these. However, that would've made for a fairly mundane review. The Lángos is another simple Hungarian classic. Snap-fried, dense flatbread covered in sour cream and shredded cheese. Warm hearty hand-food, perfect to keep you going on a cold winter morning.

For mains, there are plenty of veg. options amongst the more expected Hungarian fare. There's the Hungarian Vegasagna (Megazannya) - a Hungarian take on the lasagne; a Veganoff - a mushroom/green vegetable stroganoff; and several other dishes such as the Chevabs and various soups and large salads. However, what I elected for on this occasion was the V-Sztrapacska (try saying that 10 times quickly!), with a side of pickled apple-paprika stuffed with pickled sauerkraut. Sztrapacska - a central European dumpling dish - actually originates from Slovakia. The Hungarian take is to make noki-dumplings - egg-pasta dumplings. Put together with salted sheep cheese, sour cream and oil, it is a rich, filling carbohydrate-hit. Be warned however, the serving sizes are exceedingly generous, which makes finishing with an empty plate in front of you no mean feat! Such an effort is made doubly hard if you also take in the stuffed paprika as a side, which, in retrospect, was perhaps not the wisest decision. Whilst I love pickled foods, I tend to prefer more tart options - such as French cornichons - to the sweeter pickled salads. The peppers here are very densely filled and oozing with sweet pickle juice. Basically a meal in themselves. The peppers themselves may or may not have a real kick to them, it's a 50-50 shot and you'll only know by tasting. The ones with a bit of spice provide a nice counterpoint to the pickled sauerkraut, however, for me, they probably did not work all that well alongside the Sztrapacska.

For the meat-eaters amongst us, the options are far more vast. In particular, the Goulash soup comes highly recommended - I seem to specifically remember the comments "it's delicious" and "I like soup" from one diner. Both good indicators. The wine list could probably do with some work - there is only one Red

offered, served out of a Green, White and Red painted barrel situated next to the door - however I'm more of a beer person anyway and the food is well-suited to pint of Soproni or Dreher. The daggy red and white chequered tablecloths and constant blare of Hungarian folk music add a nice touch of authenticity, and the pics of past and present Hungary adorning the walls allow your mind to transport itself out of Melbourne and into landlocked central Europe. An enjoyable place with bubbly European wait staff, the perfect winter retreat to load up against that Soviet Melbourne Winter we've become accustomed to.
4/5

Veggie Kitchen (Intention of Love) - Northcote

The last time I heard the use of the phrase "intention of love" was as a kid when it was as an excuse by a dear one for rolling me up in a sleeping bag and stuffing me into a Salvation Army charity bin.

Okay, so that may have been a dream and never actually happened, but I'm sure we can all agree it was perfectly reasonable for me to be apprehensive about visiting a restaurant with said phrase in its title. Never-the-less, after months and months of hyped up recommendations from amigos, I was pleased to find my initial fears were unfounded. So, why the hype? Because at Veggie Kitchen, there really is a lot of care put into the dishes - indeed, the whole concept is to provide healthy "food therapy" according to traditional Chinese principles - and it really does come across. The interior of the restaurant is fairly stripped down and plain, but there is something comforting about the feel of the place.

Possibly the biggest issue is that, with a completely vegetarian Chinese menu, there is simply too much choice for someone not accustomed to so many options at a Chinese restaurant - if you're into your tofu, you'll be completely overwhelmed. The philosophy here is to share a few dishes, which works well to quell any such over-stimulation. On this occasion we elected to get a mix of the obvious, and the more innovative.

We'll start with the obvious, and one of the in-house proclaimed most popular items on the menu: the dumplings. No doubt about it, dumplings have been all the rage about town for many a year, and those at the Veggie Kitchen sit right up there with the best of them. Stuffed with raw cabbage, radish and bean curd, they seem to have less of a homogenised taste as opposed as to some of the 'fast food' dumplings at various places in the city, and didn't have that gluggy consistency or leave me with a touch of a feeling of self-loathing after eating them. Alongside the dumplings were a serving of the Cheese

balls: a filling of soft wasabi flavoured cheese that readily explodes out of its chewy konjak casing. I'm not sure that I am fan of the texture of konjak, but I am of wasabi, which makes these worth the effort - and not overly hot either, so don't let the wasabi terrify you. We also tried the seaweed roll. A nori roll where the rice is replaced with alfalfa, and with a filling of apple, carrot, cucumber, and soy ham - I was not aware of this last ingredient until they arrived, however it just tasted like tofu to me, albeit inexplicably pink tofu. Ah Gei - described on the menu as a famous Danshui local delight - is very much worth the effort. It is a stuffed tofu pocket. Who would've thought it possible! A silky skin encasing innards of bean noodles, slivers of black fungus and stewing in tofu paste, creates a delicate and slightly odd looking structure. First time I have come across this dish, and I have to say, I am a fan.

For the larger dishes, the visit is not complete without an order of the Five Elements Veggie Pot. This is the signature dish, the name derived from the 5 elements of Chinese medicine and food therapy, with each element providing nutrition for different organs in the body. Served as a soup, it consists of various vegetables, crispy bean curd rolls, and goji berries - often termed as a "superfruit"due to their health properties. With a stewed cabbage-y base, take away the bean curd rolls and goji berries and it is almost reminiscent of an Eastern European stew. It's interesting having the Bean Curd rolls in the pot, an item clearly taken from another part of the menu, but the dish as a whole just makes you feel good about yourself. And in the end, isn't that all that mother ever wanted for us?

All in all, very satisfied with this place. The staff are very willing to cater to any extra dietary requirements should they be necessary, and with barely a table free despite its modest location on St Georges Road, it clearly has developed quite a neat little following. Hot tip: if you're a vinegar fiend like me, try one of the traditional Taiwanese vinegar drinks. Sweet and tangy and something you're unlikely to find in too many other places around town. All in all, I walked away from the Veggie Kitchen knowing that I would be returning, and not just because I left my hat behind.

4.5/5

Blogging On The Road part 2: Malaysia

Malaysia: "Truly Asia" according to an old tourism campaign, and a fact corroborated by its geographical location according to The Times World Atlas. It had been nearly three and a half years since my last jaunt into South-East Asia and, I must confess, over the past 3 years I have had some serious street food withdrawal symptoms. A stopover in Malaysia - Pulau Penang in particular - seemed the perfect antidote to this affliction. Penang is described as the "Food Paradise of Asia" according to the region's self-published tourism material, and given the multicultural stew that is Malyasia - with more than 20% of the population of Indian heritage - surely there would be some strong vegetarian influences on the Malaysian dishes!

Well, the reality is that there both is, and there isn't. My first experience when I touched down in KL - aside from being rooked by a cabbie - was to insist upon my mate whom I was staying with that we go out and get some street food for breakfast. We settled on an Indian-Muslim street cafe, ordering a double-serve of roti canai with only a vegetarian dhal...what we received was the roti canai with dhal, anchovy sambal, and a chicken curry. This pretty well sets the tone for what to expect when ordering vegetarian in Malaysia. There is an incredibly high proliferation of western chains - KFC and McDonald's seem to appear on every other street corner - throughout Malaysia and, unfortunately, with a dearth in veg. options in most places I visited - particularly across Borneo - I was restricted to eating mainly vegetable side dishes and wedges at chain restaurants, interspersed with the odd serving of roti canai. The lowlight being an infamous Cream of Asparagus soup at the Afghan cafe in Kuching, which tasted like someone had topped off an almost full salt shaker with an arrowhead of asparagus, a dash of milk, and set to simmer.

However! Any such negative impressions are blown out of the water when you get to the UNESCO heritage listed city of Georgetown in Penang  - "Pearl of the Orient" to you. Famous for its hawker centres and food stands by the roadside, Penang is also the birthplace of many dishes you no doubt both know and love. It is not that most places here serve more vegetarian options than elsewhere, it is more that there is simply such a high concentration of hawker stands and restaurants in Georgetown that you cannot help but find places offering a vegetarian twist on local dishes, the majority of which I made sure I got around to sampling. One of the first dishes you should try is the aforementioned
ROTI CANAI
This very simple delicious dish is a national favourite. The roti canai (pronounced "chen-eye") is a buttery, soft, fluffy flat bread that has undergone a hefty kneading process before being fried in a skillet with an impressive amount of oil and/or butter. The result? A crispy, golden flaky base, perfect for soaking up dhal and spicy curries, and great for breakfast, lunch or dinner. My tip: roti canai for breakfast is the way to go. A staple at many street cafes, you should not have to walk too much further than a block in Georgetown to find dough being tossed in the air as the hungry diners look on, salivating. And at generally RM1.00 ($0.30) per roti, it is insanely cheap! So, where is the best roti canai?
The truth is, it is far too subjective for me to say. Every person I met recommended a different place as being the best, and time was too much of a factor to try them all. So here is my advice: As it is an Indian-Muslim dish, the best bet is to stick to the Indian quarter in Lebuh Chulia - this applies to most vego dishes too. Kassim Mustafa restaurant came as one of the most highly recommended. Given that they were consistently out of dough whenever I ordered, it clearly is a popular destination. Another highly regarded source is Restoran Kapitan on the corner of Lebuh Chulia and Lebuh King - one block from Kassim Mustafa. Kapitan was one place where I did manage to try their roti canai. It most definitely deserves the big wrap the guys at Cocoa Mews guesthouse gave it. The soft, flaky pastry virtually melts in your mouth. However it loses points for serving me dhal which had a massive chunk of what looked like beef floating in it. When I asked for a vegetarian dhal, the guy simply emptied the dhal back into the cooker, and refilled the bowl from the same cooker. Dude! Really? Oddly enough, it was from the much more *ahem* rustic looking Indian place across the road - Ros Mutiara - that catered a little more carefully to vegetarians. A discovery I made on my final morning when I ordered their
MEE GORENG

Absolutely nothing like the rubbish sold for $0.60 per pack at Woolies, these yellow noodles are fried in a thick spicy tomato gravy along with fried tofu cubes, potato, crispy flour, and garnished with lettuce, fried shallots, and a lime wedge to add a bit of tang to the heat. Despite being across the road from my guesthouse, I had avoided eating here until the final morning due to its grimy look. However, given most of their dishes are prepared on the street in front of you, there is little chance of them pulling a "Kapitan" and lumping a chunk of meat in your meal. And if their mee goreng is anything to go by, it is definitely worth a stop-in for lunch. Another dish - or, more accurately, array of dishes - worth trying for lunch is the
BANANA LEAF
Available at many Indian-Muslim restaurants, the Banana Leaf special is a collection of curries, sauces, coconut milk, rice and papadams laid out out on a large banana leaf, and Woodlands Vegetarian Restaurant on Lebuh Penang is known to make one of the best. This was my highly anticipated final lunch in Penang, having been recommended to me on the first day by an English lass I met called Charlotte. Of course, what Charlotte neglected to mention was that when she ate there previously with her two friends, one Banana Leaf special was enough for the three of them. Yep, I was that chump at the restaurant who couldn't finish his lunch. Heck, even getting through 50% of it was a struggle! However, in no way is that a comment on the food itself - honestly, 400g of rice??? - which was suitably delicious. Three curry sauces - one dhal, the other two of differing heat levels - and three curry bowls providing a mixture of spicy, creamy, and the downright unknown. This meal gives you a sense of adventure, and perhaps a sense of self-loathing for not conquering all that is before you.
CENDOL & AIS KACANG
These are the two local desserts, both offering a refreshing relief from the tropical heat. Cendol (pronounced "chen-daal") is the name given to the primary ingredient in the dessert, the Cendol noodle which is a chewy, green rice-flour noodle. It is served in a bowl which consists of a base of finely shaved ice, red beans, palm sugar syrup, and the noodles, before being drowned in fresh coconut milk. Very tasty and refreshing, although if, like me, you struggle with large doses of milk - dairy/non-dairy - then perhaps splitting a bowl is the best solution. Cendol is widely available, but the hot spot is at Joo Hooi Cafe on Jalan Panang. Teeming with locals and with a constant turnover of customers who spend all of 30 seconds in the cafe , make no mistake, these guys are doing something right!

From all reports, they also make a mean Ais Kacang. But loading their already over-flowing pockets wasn't what this trip was about, I wanted to hit one of the famous hawker centres! The hot tip from my man Arthur at Cocoa Mews was that Gurney Drive Hawker Centre is where it's at. I'd only just met Arthur, but so far he hadn't led me astray once, so Gurney Drive it was. The mild spanner in the works was that, being located in the tropics, the area is prone to tropical downpours. And boy was there a big one this day! The downside was that many of the stallholders chose not to open for the evening, but you can still tell this centre is the business. Being closer to the touristy locale of Batu Ferringhi, the food here is slightly pricier than you'd expect as it does cater more to visitors than locals, however proud banners proclaiming various national awards for various stall-holders suggest the requisite bonafides for consumption..."eat there" I guess is what I'm saying. I tried the Ais Kacang from a particularly chatty stall-holder. As with Cendol, it is served

in a bowl and has a base of shaved ice. Thrown into the mix are sweetened red beans, creamed sweet corn, palm fruit, and an array of jelly noodles and substances, all drenched in various syrups, condensed milk, and with a scoop of ice cream. Personally, not sure how I feel about this one. My main issue is that I feel conflicted about eating foods with a jelly-like texture. Also, there are a lot of contrasting tastes in the mix that I'm not sure are all in harmony. However, taste is subjective and it is a local favourite, so do give it a go if you visit!

The problem with only spending a few days in Penang is that, inevitably, there is much that will go untried. In particular, I am disappointed to say I did not get around to trying the region's signature dish: Nasi Kandar - basically a dish of rice with an array of local curries and side dishes accompanying it. However, there is another dish synonymous with Penang the is perhaps the most popular one in Australia. And for me, it was most definitely my Top Pick of all dishes I tried in Malaysia. This dish, of course, is the
PENANG LAKSA

When I asked my man Howie at Cocoa Mews for a recommendation for vegetarian laksa, he suggested I try a Chinese place called Ee Beng Restaurant. That's nearly my name! Good omen? I think so! Located in a mainly Chinese part of Georgetown on Lebuh Dickens, just off Jalan Penang, Ee Beng is an all vegetarian/all "green" restaurant with both a self-serve buffet and dishes made to order. Although not on the main drag of Jalan Penang, it appears to be a haven to many, with people in their dozens churning through and leaving with servings from the buffet in the short time I was there. As enticing as those dishes were though, I was here for one thing, and one thing alone! Taking up residence on a table next to two elderly Chinese women who were methodically

chopping some obscure greens, a bowl appeared in front of me quite promptly. My Budda, the fragrance! Thick rice noodles were to be found lurking amidst a dark brown spiced curry broth, topped with various greens - endive lettuce, a plethora of mint leaves, and those aforementioned obscure, spinachy greens - and

with a bed of pink, chopped ginger flower buds sitting atop the greens. The flavours complemented one

another like nobody's business! Given it is a dish typically made with a fish broth, finding a purely vegetarian version made me feel like I had finally had the "No Ebens" policy at the food party revoked...and boy did I take full advantage. Before the first bowl was done, a second one was on the way. And with my Kiwi friend

struggling with hers, half of a third bowl just seemed the gentlemanly thing to do. At only RM3.50 ($1.10) a bowl, there are no bones about it. Visiting this place is a MUST for anyone taking a trip to Penang and after a break from meat.

Blogging on the road part 1: Reviews from Israel

Apologies to my legions of readers, I'm afraid yours truly has been entirely selfish and indulged in a 6 week holiday, leaving all you vegos and vego sympathisers out there high and dry as to where to go and what to eat over summer. In my defence, it was not all lying on beaches and parleying with Bornean jungle creatures (although much of it was). No, a large portion of my travels were dedicated to unearthing some hidden -and some not-so hidden - gems for those of you with itchy feet - of the non-fungal variety - who may be planning an adventure in the near future.

The first part of my trip was a sponsored tour around Israel. I traversed much of this country, from North to South, East to West, and performed many a pirouette in between. There are several foods synonymous with Israel, chief amongst them being The Street Falafel, and Hummus (yes, Adam Sandler was telling no lies in Zohan. Except about Fizzy Bubblech, I'm afraid it is pure fiction). I made it my business to visit the more renowned purveyors of these essential Israeli food groups, as well as a few off the beaten path. So, without further ado, here are some of my thoughts on:

FALAFEL
The staple street food of Israel. As a vegetarian, it is unavoidable that you will smash through ample pita pockets or lafa (flat-bread wrap) stuffed with "hummus, salad, pickle, chips and diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiips!" Yep, such is the catch-cry you'll hear often around markets. Surprisingly, it took me a whole 5 days to sample my first Israeli falafel, but boy was it a good'un at the:
HaCarmel Market - Tel Aviv
In Tel Aviv's most famous produce market, amongst stalls selling genuine prada handbags for $5 a pop, is situated phone-box sized falafel stand. There is no chance of missing it. As with almost all falafel stalls worth their salt (or, chickpea flower), the falafel balls are made fresh to order, allowing you a couple of spare minutes to grab a freshly squeezed pomegranate juice from a nearby stall. Straight out of the fryer, the balls here maintain their moisture, encapsulated in a soft crunchy shell, and maintain their integrity with each bite rather than crumbling. A plethora of self-serve spices and sauces allow you to put the finishing touches on your pita pocket to your liking, all for a mere 10 Shekels (AUD$2.60).
Falafel Hakosem - Tel Aviv
When my Israeli friend Yaara told me she lived opposite the best falafel joint in TLV, I won't lie, I was a little sceptical. Everyone's local is the best, right? Boy was my face red - and tahini stained - when I tried it for myself. Falafels are serious business at Hakosem, with an assembly line of workers constantly whipping up a fresh batch and offering free samples to hungry customers waiting in line for their pita or lafa, or both. The falafels here are some of the most aromatic I have ever tasted, and a lot of care goes into each pita. Despite it being Israeli fast food, it is not merely about shoving all the ingredients into a pocket, rather each pita has carefully constructed layers of ingredients - freshly chopped tomato salad, pickled cabbage salad, schmug, pickles, hummus, tahini, chips - to provide each customer with the full compliment of tastes in each bite. A favourite destination!
Yahaloma's - Florentine, Tel Aviv

Hakosem may be my pick of the pita pocket places (try saying that quickly 10 times), but I'm afraid its falafels are pipped to the post by those at Yahaloma, a very vegetarian friendly cafe opened not so long ago by Egyptian proprietor Yahaloma Levy. The difference? Quite significant actually, as these are traditional Egyptian falafels, the way Mama used to make them...Yahaloma's mother, that is. These are not a regular feature on the menu - they are only served on Tuesdays and Wednesdays - and nor are they street-food. Yep, this is a sit-down falafel meal. The balls are arranged alongside several halved cherry tomatoes, each with a dollop of tahini and spicy sauce on top, served on a bed of lemon-juice enriched rocket, with a plate of fresh pita on the side. The texture of these falafels are perfect! A soft, crunchy exterior gives way to a centre that almost melts in your mouth, with not a hint of crumbling (yep, you can easily eat these falafels with cutlery like a sophisticated person...I still chose not to). The balls are alive with spices - hotter than your average falafel - and the mixture with the lemony greens just works, pure and simple. A nice change if you're seeking a brief fling away from the typical Israeli falafel.
Levy Brothers - Mahane Yehuda Market, Jerusalem
While Tel Aviv has the Carmel Market, Jerusalem has Mahane Yehuda. Lesser market? I think not! There is no lack of places to eat here, but a favourite of many are the Levy Brothers' falafels. On first attempt, the line was too long to wait (remember, this is Israel, and things are done on "Israel time" here), so I made a return visit. A solid performer, however the problem with coming later in the day is that they had stopped topping up salads and condiments, so lost that fresh taste edge, making it a middle-of-the-pack falafel. Worth perhaps fighting passed all the American birthright kids to grab one at the peak of lunch methinks.

HUMMUS
Of course, a key ingredient of any pita pocket - and Israeli life in general - is hummus. On my very first morning in Israel, I passed, essentially, a residential kitchen in Jaffa open to the street, with dozens of locals seated out on the street scooping liberal amounts of hummus onto pita and lapping it up. So simple, so satisfying. Made me regret having just spent an exorbitant amount on a pickled veg. salad. These open kitchens are far from unique. Indeed, Hummus cafes are favourite haunts for many locals, and some have quite a reputation behind them.

Hummus Ashkara - Tel Aviv
Located in the Northern part of the city, near the thriving new port precinct, is Hummus Ashkara. I got given the hot tip - and by hot tip, I mean via online recommendations from the general public - about this traditional eatery, operating for over 30 years now, 24 hours a day. A little hidden away, this really is a locals' joint, and they were quite happy to have a foreign visitor show up for dinner - I got given a free coke! Nothing particularly fancy is done here, they stick with their time-tested methods. Minimal spice, classic ingredients. I ordered - as I did everywhere - hummus with fuul, a brown fava bean paste as seen in the image above. I found the taste of the hummus fuul itself a tad bland, the key here being how you apply the sides and condiments. Invariably, you will have raw onion, pickles, cilantro peppers, spiced dips, pita and, should you wish it, a boiled egg. With all these options, you should be able to season the hummus to your liking.
Humus Said - Akko
Yep, it is specifically spelt "humus" here, and if you're keen to taste it at lunch time, you better have a spare 20 minutes to wait for a table! Located in the ancient port city of Akko (Acre) - itself a wonder - Humus Said is considered by many to be one of the best humus places in the whole Middle East - and, by extension, the world too! Not only that, there are no meat options here. Just hummus in its simplest form, and it is a slick operation. Our waiter dished out our bowls of hummus fuul like a ninja flicking out death stars. The policy is that if you're not satisfied with one bowl, you get a free refill. Not sure how often this actually happens, you need to be pretty hungry and quite the hummus hound to polish off more than one. The one issue I did have with this place was the amount of olive oil steeped in our bowl. It got to the point where we had to scoop several tablespoons into a side bowl - well, side ashtray - to stomach it. That being said, add it - and Akko - to your 'to do' list.
Abu Dhabi - Be'ersheba
Beersheva, it has to be said, is not the most remarkable place to visit. Israel's 4th largest city, it is basically a University in the desert with a city constructed around it, and if you're pushed for time, may not need to figure on your itinerary. For myself, I had some lovely friends - new and old - studying at Ben Gurion University to visit. And the good news is, they let me in on this little gem of a student hangout! Located across the road from the University, a few doors down from a bar called 'Publo' - there's your landmark to find it. This vegan-friendly joint serves up freshly made hummus with a table full of sides and a free coffee at the end, to the backdrop of some chilled out hip hop and reggae beats. This really is a student favourite, and although it may not have the acclaim of Said or Karavan, I found the hummus absolutely delicious, and the whole vibe of the place made it one of the most enjoyable eating out experiences of the trip, so it gets my top pick for hummus.

THE MISC.
Whilst the 3 listed above were the pick of the hummus cafes I visited, I can not carry on without mentioning a few institutions I neglected to visit. Abu Hasan (also known as Ali Karavan) in Jaffa is considered by many   as one of the rivals for best hummus in the Middle East. Whilst I did not make it there, I was fortunate enough on my last night in TLV to have a fella in my hostel bring some back from his day's adventuring. My advice to you: don't make the same mistake I did! This was the most delicious hummus I have ever tasted, I can only imagine how it would have been fresh. Another place worth visiting is the Arab town of Abu Ghosh in the hills outside Jerusalem. Famous for its hummus restaurants, it is also one of the few places in Israel where Arab and Jewish Israelis mingle with one another at hummus and shisha bars.

Tzfat is one of the four holy cities, the birthplace of Kabbalah and Jewish mysticism, and, it is believed, where the Messiah will return one day. It is also home to a large artist colony and has many breathtaking views. Basically, what I'm getting at is this: visit it already! Ok, perhaps a touch aggressive. However, shouldyou decide to make the trip here, you'll want to visit the one Yemeni place in town and get a lahuhe. This place is quite well-known. The lahuhe is basically a spongy pita pizza, filled with onion, tomato, oil, herbs, cheese, and schmug. So simple, so tasty, and the guy who makes them is a joy to watch.

For Jerusalem, my biggest tip would be to hit the shouks as much as possible and try whatever looks good, particularly the pastries. The rugelach - a rolled filled pastry - was a favourite, the chocolate one in particular, and there are numerous good spots in Mahane Yehuda for these. The Muslim Quarter of the Old City is also a gold-mine for pastries. Under-ground, old family bakeries operate around the clock creating baked treats to ancient family recipes. No two bakeries sell pastries that taste the same, so there are plenty to sample. The other hot tip would be to hit up Marakiya; a self-proclaimed "hipster soup" restaurant in the city centre. With its motley table settings of unmatched cutlery and crockery, this place simply produces several vegetarian soups en masse, dishing out hefty servings. My spicy cous cous and veg soup completely hit the spot on a cold evening, and being located in the city centre, it is within spitting distance of some trendy night spots.

For TLV, one place not to miss is Dr Shakshouka in Jaffa. The "Doctor" brought his father's recipe for this dish of eggs, tomato, onions, your choice of meat/veg, and spices from Tripoli. All smashed together and served still bubbling in a frying pan, it invariably comes with a near half-loaf of bread as an accompaniment. This place is an absolute institution, and even for someone like myself who is not particularly fond of eggs, it was a treat and makes for a perfect brunch - particularly if you've imbibed a little the night before. Other gems I came across were through aimless wanderings through the Yemenite Quarter and Neve Tzedek, below the Carmel market - itself a must-see. In particular, Anita's ice creamery - an International Award winner - is definitely worth a stop. The Mille-feuille I got was heaven in a cone. Not overdosed with sugar, it really did achieve the flavour of the french pastry.

THE HIGHLIGHT/LOWLIGHT
And the number 1 gong for top eatery on my trip goes to...(at this point, please imagine you're hearing a drum roll), YAHAMLOMA'S! I only discovered this cafe a couple of days before leaving, but boy what a find! The best falafel balls I tasted in Israel, hands down, but it was not just that. What initially got me hooked was an entirely vegetarian menu of innovative Middle Eastern dishes. Their take on dolmadas was simply sublime. Bulgar and spices replaces rice as the filling, wrapped in mango leaves instead of the traditional vine leaves, in a tomato and onion sauce with tahini and (rennet-free) parmesan bread on the side. The mango leaves are significantly more bitter than vine, and give off a hint of an eggplant taste, with the parmesan bread providing a good, sharp counterpoint to the bitterness for mopping up the flavours. Not overly substantial, but very lively.

And the lowlight from the trip? Well, for that I'm actually departing Israel and travelling into Wadi Musa - the town surrounding the ancient Nabatean city of Petra - and heading to Al Wadi Restaurant. Recommended by Lonely Planet, I must confess that the simple falafel was not all that bad - although not all that good either. However, what turned me off was the "vegetable soup", which consisted of hot water, a bit of parsley, and some decrepit chopped up french fries floating there within. Really? That's your vegetable soup?! There was, ahem, no return business from this guy.

Mr Burger - Food Truck

One thing you're very unlikely to ever read from this guy is a positive review of faux meat. Sure, some people become vegetarian for health reasons and may miss the taste of it, but personally, I just do not see the point of it. I'm vegetarian because I cannot fathom eating meat and see no appeal whatsoever in eating some sort of substitute. For those who have made the switch for health reasons, surely eating a soy alternative that tastes like bad meat (so I have been told) is just making that switch all the more difficult, and denying yourself a world of vegetarian creations, unknown to those with a less concentrated sphere of ingredients at their disposal.

All that being said, allow me to be a tad hypocritical here. Growing up amongst a backdrop of American pop culture, the idea of hanging out at a burger joint with friends is ingrained in our psyche. As vegetarians, this is a world somewhat denied to us, and as a kid was something I yearned for. Sure, McDonald's and Burger King claim to have veg options (personally, I'm sceptical as to just how 'vegetarian' these burgers are, and would not touch them with a 20 foot barge pole whilst dressed in nuclear waste-disposal gear), and there are many gourmet burger restaurants and gastro pubs offering inspiring creations on a range of sourdough and wholegrain rolls and sandwiches...but I want my greasy fast food burger and fries dammit! Like in the movies!

Enter 'Mr Burger'. With authentic American diner-styled burgers, it is yet another addition to the burgeoning food truck scene in Melbourne. With 5 trucks scattered across Melbourne, it shouldn't be too difficult to find one, and it seems there's a semi-permanent location at the Queen Vic Market. The menu is very simple here. There is the Mr Burger, the Mr Meat, and - of significance to our kind - the Mr Veg. First of all, let me address the cheese situation. Although I did not see the ingredients, it was read out to me and no mention was made of any rennet or enzymes. Cha-ching! Time to order then.

The burger itself is served in a glazed, sesame seed bun. You know, like the kind you see on TV. The patty is of a falafel base - although I am pretty sure I noted a little veg compacted in amongst the chickpea flour - and surrounded by the classic burger staples: cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickle, tomato sauce, mayonnaise and yellow mustard. Those last 3 ingredients are key into creating the authentic burger 'feel'. Two condiments are just never enough! The ingredients combine well, with a good balance in the use of the sauces. I did find something a little grating about the texture of the falafel patty, it was almost as if there was a chalkiness to it. However, that had no bearing on the taste of it, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

At $8, the price is reasonable. The burger is not huge, but just remember, we're effectively paying to see through the looking glass, so I was happy to wear it for the experience. Also, I dare say I have more faith in the freshness of the ingredients here than at the big fast food slop houses.

To add to the experience, the van pumps out some old-school rock tunes to set the vibe. As such, I really did feel like a genuine Arthur Fonzirelli whilst perched on an outdoor bar stool, munching on my burger. To Mr Burger, Fonzi says "Eyyyyyyy!"

4/5